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Writer's pictureChaplainGary

I was using a screwdriver, but Susan nailed it!

A handyman I am not… no matter how hard I try! We had to replace a door to the house after a summer storm, and I finally got around to putting the alarm system back in place on the new door. But it was a bitter struggle.


The setup is simple. The sensor is attached to the door and a connecting magnet that completes the circuit is attached to the molding around the door. If the door is opened with the alarm on, the connection is broken, and the alarm goes off. Got it.


Wisely (so I thought), I taped the sensor and its magnet in place and tested the alarm. All good. So, I get out my power tools to install them permanently. But the fancy drill strips the screw, so it’s now hand-power with a new screw. From down in the garage.


First, I put on the mounting plate backwards… then upside down. Many trips up and down my stepladder and two new screws (from the garage) and it’s complete. The magnet is attached in the very same hole it came from. Easy and done. But when I test the system… it does NOT work! How can this be?!!


The new door hangs a fraction of an inch farther away from the molding than the original door did, and this micro-distance must be the culprit. So up and down, and hand-jam, and align, and test again… and still the alarm will not set.

My attitude is seriously slipping. Pastoral ministry does not have these problems… especially when I get on the ladder to find I left the screwdriver down on the counter. Or when the screw drops and rolls directly toward the heater vent on the floor. Or when every adjustment adds a new hole to the wood.


And, of course, I have been “thinking out loud” becoming irritated with every little annoyance plaguing this simple task that should go smoothly and have been done 15 minutes ago!! Preachers ought not feel this way. And I discover Susan, hearing the noise and appreciating the entertainment value of the moment, has been standing there watching and listening. My manly moments with tools are best experienced audience free and alone.

When the screw dropped and rolled again, she looked at me and said, “It’s too bad you can’t use bad words!”


Nearly fell off the ladder laughing!


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Dinoboy 625200
Dinoboy 625200
Nov 13, 2023

Hi you two! David and I miss you and would like to meet up somewhere to catch up if you are amenable. Would dinner here work, or would a restaurant be better? Let me know what you want. I hope you felt appreciated yesterday on Veterans Day.

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